Frugal January

I think we're starting a new tradition. We have No-Sugar November (which, let's be honest, was Less-Sugar November this year) and All-Dessert December (not really a tradition, but an accurate description of our behavior). Now we're starting Frugal January. 2013 was a big year for us Sloans, in many great ways. A new baby, a new job, a new state, a new house. But it was also the most expensive year in our marriage by far. So at family council tonight, as I was planning outings we could do for the rest of the week to finish off the holiday (Chick-fil-A! Fort McHenry!) and projects we could do on Dave's days off (buy a vinyl mat for our dining room area! Order new family pictures and finally put together our family picture wall!), Dave suddenly shook his head and said, "I don't want to do anything that costs money. We should designate this month Frugal January."

This made lots of sense to me. We've just spent all this money on Christmas presents for the kids and each other, we just bought a minivan for me--heck, we've just bought a house for our entire family. We should stop acquiring things for a while and learn to use and enjoy the things we already have. So the vinyl mat for the dining room area? That's not a necessity--I can wipe up messes under the table and polish the wood floor and wait until February for something that will be more convenient. Chick-fil-A is very fun, but the park is free, with just the cost of some extra time for bundling everyone up. In the meantime, I have a new smartphone that I really don't know how to use to its full capacity. I have a sewing machine that Mama gave me and that I have yet to really use, though I have projects piling up next to it. I have new scriptures that Dave gave me for Christmas that are begging to be taken out every night for some reflective reading. Everything else can wait.

And don't I have a wonderful husband for thinking of this?

A Christmas Present I Gave Myself

I love the annual harvest of Christmas cards. If I had a more poetic bent of mind (and if it were not so near my bedtime), I would craft the perfect metaphor about sowing seeds of friendship all year long and then feasting in the cornucopia of news and pictures and warm wishes from the people I love and admire most.

As it is, I will just share one of the cards I treasured the most this year. It's a Christmas gift I actually gave myself, though it depended on the kind heart of an old friend to actually make it back to me. My very best friend in kindergarten was Emily Roberts, and she was a magical friend to have. She and I were in the same Girl Scout troop and the same kindergarten class, and we were inseparable during recess. From kindergarten until fourth grade, when we started going to different schools, I basked in her friendship, and I think I will always have a warm feeling associated with the name "Emily" because of her. When we moved into our new house a few month ago, I found myself remembering her home, just a few streets away from mine. I loved going over to play at her house. There were cozy corners and little hide-aways both inside and out, and I remember that her guest bathroom always smelled of flowers and had little soaps in the shape of seashells. I think that Emily's friendship set me up for my lifelong love of Anne of Green Gables, because her house somehow captured that old-fashioned charm of Avonlea and Diana Barry and the Lake of Shining Waters.

Well, after taking several mental tours of her house during daydreaming moments, I decided that I would write her a letter and just let her know how much her friendship had meant to me. I knew that her mom was a well-beloved leader in the Presbyterian church in the city where we grew up, so it took about 1 minute with Google to find an address that would eventually get the letter to Emily.

A few weeks later, just a couple of days before Christmas, I got a letter back from her. She included a picture of her daughter, who, it seems to me, has Emily's same eyes and smile. And she wrote about her husband and daughter and the things that occupy her day. After she'd signed off, she added a PS.

"I remember the time during Jacob's death so poignantly. It was so difficult to be at different schools and separated during that time. I remember my mom coming to my class to take me out and tell me that Jacob had died. This first true glimpse of loss was a profound experience--and witnessing your family's love and grief and bond was also profound for me. I have such warm memories of our playing house with Jacob and Rachel at your house on Palm Drive, and of stealing away for a run to the local donut shop during sleepovers at your house on Chevy Chase. The brokenness and innocence of those early days. Much love."

Why did this make me cry, even now as I transcribe it here? Emily and I had been at different schools for a couple of years by the time my little brother died, and he would have only been a toddler when she would come over to my house for play-dates. I hadn't known that little Jacob's death had even registered in her 12-year-old life, now mostly separate from mine with different schools and different friends. People are so often more tender and more thoughtful and more compassionate that I imagine they will be, and that's very humbling to me. Anyway, this is a new puzzle piece in my somewhat fractured memories of that time in our family. My best friend from kindergarten was mourning with me. Her wonderful mother was wise enough to help her daughter share in that experience, even though it was from a distance. Somehow this makes that time of loss and grief even more sacred to me.

This isn't really a Christmas present I gave myself, now that I think about it. I wrote a letter and received one back, but the real gift to me, beyond reconnecting with an old friend who is now a wonderful adult, was realizing that the love that we are capable of in friendships and families has the power to make things sacred, past and present. Thank you, Emily.

I wish I had a picture of Emily, but this is a representative picture of Mama leading one of her many Girl Scout troops. She was a second Maria von Trapp.

And this was taken right before Rachel and Jacob were born--another one of my best Christmas presents! Aslan, the lion. 

Happy Birthday, Mr. Handsome

Well, my brother, I hope your birthday has all of the elements of a good wedding reception: delicious cake, enjoyable conversation, and maybe even some dancing. Minus the not-being-able-to-go-to-Disneyland-with-your-8th-grade-class part (remember that?). I love you, my phenomenal brother! I have the utmost admiration for all of my brothers, and I am blessed to be in your family.

Too much love!!!

This picture is worth enlarging, just to see the priceless expression on your face, Christian. I think it's about 3 parts terror, 2 parts suffocation, what do you think?

Gabrielle's Boy

What an exquisite child you are here, Christian.

This is his day

..his baptism day. I love that Benjamin's holding your hand here. Is he keeping you from running away? Or is he just holding your hand in brotherly affection? I think Benjamin felt the big brother responsibilities very heavily, so the brotherly affection and the physical restraint may have been one and the same for him :).

Collateral Warrior

Well, Christian, we're just a few days away from your birthday (!!!!!), and if I'd planned this better, I would have saved some awesome shots of just you in your element for this last week. But instead, I used all of those pictures at the beginning, so we're stuck with the pictures that are probably far more representative of your childhood: you're somewhere in the middle, often being dragged along to something, and suffering it with good patience. At least, you are in this picture :).

Mystery picture

The picture quality isn't great here, but I'm so intrigued by the setting. Do you remember where this was?

Begging for a Caption

This is a picture that just wants a caption. It almost looks like we got those fancy instruments for Christmas while you got that little present, but you're the most thrilled.

Nature Boy

Do you love the snow as much now that you're around it so much more? Remember when "going to the snow" was a huge family outing?

I have to wear SHOES to school?

I love this expression on your face. It's such a California prerogative to consider shoes optional in most settings :).

Wedding Pictures

You had a fair number of weddings to be coerced into cooperative for over the years. This probably sums up your feelings toward them :).

You are the wind beneath my hair

Do you know where this was taken? I love those foothills in the background. This is from the Brigham-era of Oldest Siblinghood. Any memories from that time?

Birthday cake!

Do you have a favorite birthday cake, Christian? Looks like Abe was pretty happy about this one. Very fancy, Mama!

I missed an entire week!

How did that happen, Christian! Actually, I know how it happened: I didn't get on the computer last Sunday, and then I completely forgot about loading up the week's pictures until Friday morning, at which point I felt too embarrassed to try to catch up for the week. Sorry, my brother! Let's make up for it this week. This first is Abe saying, "What the heck, Naomi?" The second is Christian saying, "I always liked Brigham better anyway" :).

With the Young Child

Have I put one of these pictures up yet? I don't think so. I love looking back at this year that you were the baby Jesus. So big for that tiny doll's cradle of ours. But you were probably much closer to the actual size of the baby Jesus when the three kings brought their gifts!

Beautiful

Everyone in this picture is beautiful to me. I remember this day very well, when Rachel got baptized in the Centerfield ward building. I remember feeling strongly that Jacob was there too, and I remember Daddy (and maybe Rosalynde?) saying the same thing. I'm glad you were with us for that day, Christian, even if you can't remember it.

Big Brother

Big brothers are good for lots of things, aren't they? I remember riding in that very position, with Rosalynde or Gabrielle driving the ATC. I didn't feel the fire in my bones to drive it myself, though I enjoyed it enough once I learned how to do it. But there's a certain comradery that comes from letting an older sibling do something for you :).

Silly Frandsens

Have I put this one up yet? I hope not. I should have been keeping track... This must have been when Daddy said, "Okay, now everyone be silly!" Little Yellow Riding Hood only had to remain draped in a poncho ten sizes too big for her, but the rest of us performed for the camera, and you the best of all! Christian, I love that you have a whimsical sense of individuality. Everyone should look at the world from upside down once in a while.

Life in Scouts

This probably encapsulates a lot of your Scouting experience, huh? You and Eva should have earned both Gold and Eagle awards for all the scouting events that you were schlepped along to over the years.

Crazy boys

Please tell me there's a story here. This picture is just too much of a gem to remain in obscurity. Christian, you had a flare for showmanship from the beginning.

Vintage Frandsen

I love this picture for its capture of some vintage Frandsen items here. The striped tablecloth that I loved so much. Mama's little ball lamp on her desk. Those long taper birthday candles. Anything else you spot there that looks like classic Frandsen?

Cherubs

Where do you think this was And whoever is that person right next to you putting his arm around a jean-jacketed female? Scandalous. Whaddya think, Christian--a little closer to the meangel here?

Going with the Cute

Okay, get used to how old you look in these pictures, because there are some adorable pictures from this folder that I'm just going to mine for the next couple of days. I think you're snuggling in the car seat with my old cabbage patch kid here. Poor boys--I think the majority of toys in the toy room were geared toward little girls. But they apparently just made you more nurturing and sweet as you got older :).

Boys on the Bench

So is Benjamin really trying to reach out in brotherly love to you and Abraham, or does he just want a piece of what you two are eating? You three boys with your sun-bleached hair must have brought so much joy (as well as so much of everything else :) to Mama as she looked out her kitchen window at you.

Let's Sneak Up On Daddy!

That's what this picture looks like to me :). And this is the closest we've come to the meangel face, so far. I can't believe we don't have a slide of it!

Big Basket, Little Boy

Did you ever read "Little Lord Fauntleroy"? This picture right here is what I'd guess the little protagonist would look like. Any chance you're actually the lost son of a very wealthy aristocrat? (wouldn't that be convenient? :)

Don't Drop Me, Daddy!

Wow, a picture of our whole family! This must have been the summer before Gabrielle went to Rice, I'm guessing. Yellowstone, maybe? What's the earliest family reunion you remember, Christian? You were obviously a very tolerant schlepper-arounder, for a 3-ish-year-old.

'Tis the season

Did all of the Frandsen boys wear that vampire costume at some point? I'll have to look through the archives... In any event, you put Edward Cullen to shame!

Living your Heritage

Christian, do you ever claim Native American ancestry? I'm occasionally asked if I have any Navajo blood, especially when my hair was longer and I wore it in braids all the time. I was always tempted to say yes, but in the end, I would usually admit that we just have some strong ties through our mother's upbringing :).

PS SORRY SORRY SORRY that I dropped the ball for the rest of the week! I didn't put up the whole week's worth of pictures at the same time, and then I just forgot that I hadn't done it! Won't happen again :).

Victory!

So Christian, I want the story of your jump-roping career. How long? How many and which competitions? Highlights? I was at college and on my mission for this part of your life, so I feel like I missed your side of it.

Renaissance Man

Or, you know, medieval man. Or asian man? What exactly are you doing here?

Family Night

These pictures were taken right around the time of Brigham and Christine's wedding--maybe even the night before? You have to look at all of the pictures to put together who is saying the thing that's making everyone laugh, and who has the most comfortable seat :). I like that you chose to sit right next to Grandma Hansen. You've always had a good instinct for reaching out to people.

Read this Picture

So this is a picture from when Rachel was reigning oldest in the house, is that right? I'm guessing that this picture also encapsulates quite a few things that were typical of that era. How would you describe that era of Frandsen childhood?

Mid-semester inspiration

Look at that cocky 8th grader. If you could conquer the world then, you can conquer the world now!

The Legacy

Christian, you were the last of the Frandsen boys to wear this classic little blue Sunday suit. I think Jacob has it now--is that right, Rachel?

Like Uncle, Like Nephew

Christian, I put up this picture around this time last year because it reminded me so much of pictures of Miles from just a few years ago. Do you see the resemblance?

Cuties

Looks like Benjamin and Abraham convinced Christian to eat a lemon, by the expressions on these faces :). Any other explanations, Christian?

Mama's Boys

I bet Mama and Daddy loved taking this picture of their boys. How is it that you still have the same aware, tricksy smile now than you did when you were a baby?

Cuteness

Need I say more? You kept your mother young, my brother.

Westward Ho

You don't seem particularly thrilled about being relegated to the western half of the 4 corners, my brother :).

My Baptism Day

Christian, did you know that I had this very picture in my photo album for almost my entire mission? Mama sent me a copy of this picture, and I pulled it out every time I explained about baptism at the age of 8. Your smiling face, Daddy's ability and worthiness to baptize you--it was such a perfect way to teach this precious principle of the gospel.

Ring in the New

Christian, I love this picture. I kind of want you (or me!) to take all of the pictures of you from these slides and put them in a photo book--and this one would be on the front cover. There's something so archetypal about this picture, I think. What do you think?

School Ready

Oh Christian, you were SOOOO school ready, and in more ways than just a great backpack and pair of shorts :). Clearly, you were so excited to go to school, and you were so precocious in so many ways, that I think you knew school was the next step in your inevitable ascent to world domination :). Look at how buoyant (not to mention how adorable) you are there! I know Mama sometimes worried about starting you at school so early--in retrospect, are you glad you started early, or do you sometimes wonder what would have happened if you'd been the oldest instead of the youngest in your class?

Water Boy

Who needs swimming trunks when you can take a dip in a polo shirt!

Show-stopper

Wherein Joseph steals the Nativity scene show :).